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ISSN: 0974-892X

VOL. II
ISSUE II

July, 2008

 

 

Rita Nath Keshari

SHELTER


            Mrs Urmila Singh was strolling in the garden of Golden Oasis Old Age Home when the peon informed her about her son’s arrival.  She frowned but agreed to see her son.  As the peon walked off towards the visitors’ room Mrs. Singh looked at her watch.  It was almost four which meant that her son Milan would expect a cup of tea.  As manager of the Old Age Home she could certainly offer him tea and snacks. 
            When she entered the visitors’ room she was pleased to see Milan along with his wife, Paloma.  She stepped forward and hugged her daughter-in-law but greeted her son warily. 
            “How about tea and hot samosas?”  She was conscious of her duties as hostess. 
            “Mom, we are not here for refreshments.  We want to discuss something very important,” Milan sounded nervous. 
            “Let us go to my room.  We can be free there,”  Urmila tried to sound carefree. 
            When Urmila had joined this old Home as manager a year back she was offered separate residential quarters in its large compound.  She declined this and asked for a large room with a balcony.  She informed the house supervisor that she would eat in the common dining-hall along with the other inmates.  Milan, knowing his mother to be a headstrong woman, was not surprised by her decision. 
            When they settled down in her room Milan asked her whether she was comfortable in her room.  “I have been comfortable in this room for the past one year.  Moreover, I see no reason why a single person like me should occupy a three-bedroom flat. The warden has a large family so he has been permitted by the Board of Trustees to shift there.  I believe in simplifying my lifestyle as much as possible”. 
            To prevent his mother from digressing Milan said, “Mom, a whole year has passed since you took voluntary retirement from your bank and joined this Home as its manager.  You left home and your family to work here.  What have you gained here that prevents you from returning home?” 
            Urmila was anticipating this question so she did not get startled.  She replied patiently, “I know you observed me for one year before asking this question.  But tell me, was that house my home? You will say that it is the homemaker’s duty to transform a house into home.  You make me feel that I have failed as a homemaker.  In case you need me it is because you are not efficient enough to run the household.  You find me indispensable because you can’t find another cook cum attendant cum breadwinner”. 
            Paloma was silent throughout this conversation between mother and son.  She decided to convey her opinion, “Mom, you had accepted me as a daughter-in-law in our first meeting.  I, the daughter of Spanish artists settled in India, was stunned by your cosmopolitan outlook and compassion.  You, a manager in a nationalized bank, drew me, an art school teacher, to your heart.  Had it not been for you, Milan and I could not have got married.  Dad was dead against me”. 
            Milan persisted in his argument, “I know my father made life hell for you during the last two and a half decades.  Can’t you adjust a little longer and a little more.  Think of the social stigma we are facing.  Dad tells people that you left home because Paloma refused to adjust with you”. 
            An attendant entered the room with a tray bearing cups of tea, hot samosas and sweets.  He left quickly.   
            “Mom, can’t you forgive Dad and come back home?  In this past one year he has personally come a few times to take you back.  His friends have also tried to bring about a reconciliation between the two of you.  Why are you so rigid?”  Paloma asked her mother-in-law frankly. 
            Urmila sighed and closed her eyes, “If my husband really wants me back then let him return those twenty-five years of my life --- not trampled upon and mutilated by him as they are in reality --- but harmonious as they ought to be.  He has battered my heart into pulp so how can it pulsate any more?  A murdered relationship cannot be resuscitated at will. It has to be buried,” her voice trailed off. 
            Milan could not spare his mother so easily so he persisted, “Mom, you had a love marriage and initially your parents-in-law were very nice.  They allowed you to work and to undergo training in various institutes.  This enabled you to obtain a managerial position at a young age”. 
            “A love marriage is based on very high expectations and therefore disillusionment sets in very fast.  An arranged marriage focuses primarily on adjustments and compromises and receives social support.  I loved your father and respected your grandparents but that did not give them the right to enslave me.  They allowed me to work, to receive higher training because they needed my salary to buy property in their name,” Urmila almost spat out these words. 
            Milan remembered his mother’s humiliation and insecurity in her husband’s home.  He saw that she had no intentions of returning home which was virtually a prison for her.  In some ways psychological torture can be more brutal than physical assault.  Her refined manners and gentle grace had coarsened.  There was an aggression lurking in her words and movements.  Milan was deeply worried about Paloma’s health. 
            Just then Paloma rushed to the bathroom and threw up.  Urmila was at her side immediately and patted her on the back.  “It is the fourth month,” Paloma blushed happily, “actually we wanted to give you this news but did not know how to broach the matter.  Now that you know about the forthcoming baby will you return home?” 
            Urmila smiled cheerfully and said, “On the contrary, there is no need for me to return home now.  Once the baby arrives, you will be so preoccupied with it that you would not even remember me”. 
            Her chirping voice and girlish smile made Paloma wonder whether it was the same woman who was talking to them some time ago.  How did the news of the grandchild bring her back to life again?  Maybe Mom’s problems had aggravated with their marriage.  Her artist parents lived in a small hill-station in Himachal Pradesh.  Mom had appreciated her Spanish background and encouraged Paloma to retain her culture.  She got them married in style with money drawn from her provident fund.  This made Dad livid with rage.  He could not ask his son to leave the house because he would be a support in his old age.  He made it impossible for Mom to live in the house. 
            “Mom, we feel guilty because Dad obliged you to leave home for supporting us fully,” Milan sounded bitter. 
            “No, my dear.  He threatened to throw me out of the house to instil terror in all of us.  When I shifted to this Old Home he realised that he was being punished.  You can’t blame yourself for the flow of circumstances,” Urmila elucidated a tricky point.  Urmila now sat up straight and wanted to know where the delivery would take place.  She pointed out that the baby, due in October, would suffer in the chill weather of the hill-station.  “If your parents do not object then you can have your confinement here in Golden Oasis.  Our resident doctor and two nurses will be of great help in case of emergency.  We have our own ambulance and can rush you to the best hospital in the city”. 
            Paloma started weeping for she could not bear it any more.  Mom said, “I count this as God’s blessing so keep smiling.  Everything will progress smoothly”.  Urmila knew in her heart of hearts that Paloma was finding it very difficult to adjust with the old man.  Her son was caught in the crossfire and he desperately needed a solution.  She knew that her interference would unnecessarily complicate matters and give her husband a chance to malign Paloma. 
            “Mom, if we take up separate accommodation will you come and stay with us?”  Milan dangled a bait before his mother. 
            Urmila shook her head and said that this would not be the solution.  “I have always helped you to nurture your relationship with Dad.  I have never tried to separate you from your father at any point of time.  I will definitely not drive a wedge between the two of you at this stage of your life.  Whatever decision you take regarding your future must be an entirely independent one”. 
            Paloma pacified Milan in this manner, “One thing at a time.  Let the delivery be over then Mom can think of staying with us in a different house”. 
            Urmila clicked her tongue and said, “You must understand that this Golden Oasis is my home.  It has offered me occupation, shelter and the scope to do social service.  You cannot imagine how much these old people love me and rely on me.  They are my own people too”. 
            Milan understood that his mother wished to spend her remaining days here.  In her old age she did not wish to be a burden on any one.  His father wanted her back because she was still a useful commodity. 
            The young couple felt that there was no use in persuading her.  Her strong determination had helped her through the several crises of her life.  Paloma knew that Mom would always be there to help them but preferred to remain aloof.  She remembered her household duties and her father-in-law waiting to hear the result of their meeting with Mom.  He would snigger at them for failing in their mission.  She shuffled her feet and gestured to Urmila that they wanted to go back home.   
            Paloma patted her on the shoulder and said, “Mom, start knitting for all of us including the baby.  We will spend the next summer all together in my parents’ hill-station home”. 
            Urmila looked cheerful again.  They strolled in the garden for some time before taking their leave.  After their departure, Urmila spent some more time in the garden and reflected about her life.  She refused to live in the past and be weighed down by her misery.  She never craned her neck to see beyond to-morrow.  She was happy that she had retained her optimism and enthusiasm for life in spite of all her hardships and loneliness.  She smiled as she thought of the grandchild. 

The attendant saw the aging manager of Golden Oasis smiling and muttering to herself ‘She is like that, eccentric and difficult to handle.  However, she is honest and efficient.  This Diwali she will have to give us special bonus plus personal gifts.  She can afford to do so.  Since she has left her family and come to live here she is not going to spend on them.  Now we are her family members’, he calculated happily.